Last weekend I shared a little video of our family camping trip where there was a brief shot of me pushing our newborn son in his pram.
It all sounds innocent so far, doesn’t it?
Until I said that our newborn son was wrapped white, yellow and blue hospital blanket.
And then the comments started to roll in.
“As a Midwife, all I saw in this video was the hospital blanket you stole,” said Bec.
Next was Lou: “Another Midwife here, yes, the blankets really stand out in the wild.”
I was gobsmacked. I, hand on heart, had no idea I was stealing. Your honour.
I needed official confirmation so I consulted the source possible in a time of crisis... Google’s AI Overview.
“No, you are not allowed to take hospital blankets home. They are hospital property.” Ouch.
Next, I called my darling Rebecca (who will now be known as “the accomplice”). She too, had no idea we were stealing.
My video had unwittingly reported us both as accidental thieves. It gets worse. The accomplice informed me we had four of those hospital blankets at home.
My conscience was getting the better of me. I had to confess. I had to own our mistake. So, I made a short video acknowledging the stolen blankets and promising to lie low for a while.
That new video was viewed more than two million times in 24 hours. Now more than three million people knew we were not only thieves, but repeat offenders.
It had gone global. Even people in Sweden were commenting. It was now an internationally recognised crime.
But as I worked my way through the thousands of comments, one thing became clear — we weren’t alone.
Almost every comment was confessing to the EXACT same crime. We felt a wave of solidarity. It was like we were the “I am Spartacus” moment of the linen world.
@Jmelish: “If you didn’t take one home are you even a parent?”
@nikki22: “If you’re going to swaddle my baby in it like a burrito, you bet I’m taking that tortilla.”
@ballergal6: “Isn’t the blanket just gift wrapping.”
@Alwalnai: “Our Midwife put it in my hospital bag. So technically it is not theft.”
@theboss44: “We paid $12k in hospital fees. I’m taking the blanket. And anything else not bolted down.”
@brigdejong: “They took my placenta. I’m taking the blanket.”
In closing, despite the court of public opinion being on my side, I am still planning to return our blankets (in the dark of night) hopefully with no questions asked?
Fingers crossed our charge can be downgraded from theft to long-term loan.
What a wild ride the past few days have been. Ricky Martin may have been “Livin’ La Vida Loca”, but Bec and I were well and “Linen La Vida Loca”.